Thoughts on Being Home

{ last year's halloween }

It's hard to imagine these sweet boys can be the source of so much stress as well as incredible joy.

I had a very lucrative and comfortable full-time job in Manhattan as an Executive Assistant up until August 31st of this year.  I gave it up voluntarily (along with the incredible benefits) to spend more time at home with the boys.  I was fortunate to work out a 10 hour/week consulting position helping with the firm's marketing efforts.  It gives our family a little cushion but it's chump change compared to what I used to make.

Up until this point, my in-laws had been watching the kids.  I never had to worry if they were being loved or given enough attention; my concern was that they were being loved way too much and allowed to get away with murder!

{ cj enjoying a juicy plum.  just a
prime example of the mess i'm
cleaning up after. }

In the first month home with the boys, I thought I might have to check myself into an insane asylum!  My day consisted of constantly changing dirty diapers, cleaning the floor of their mealtime mess, washing the dishes, doing loads of laundry, dealing with toddler tantrums, and somehow trying to whip up a meal in between.  I was lucky if I could take a shower, use the bathroom uninterrupted, or even rememer to eat.  And though I even had help (the in-laws come for a few hours in the morning), I was still struggling to keep it all together.

Thoughts like:
"What have I done?" 
"This is ludicrous!"
"Women are crazy for doing this!"
"I wonder if it's too late to get my job back."
started stirring in my head.

It didn't help that my oldest was just starting to go through his terrible twos.  And you know that kid in the playgroup that every parent shakes their head at and secretly thanks the Lord is not their child - yeah, well that would be my son.  He was the one guaranteed to be pushing, shoving, stealing, yanking, and causing other children to cry.

{ boys making their usual mess }

On the weekends, James and I would try to address these issues with CJ and reinforce good behavior.  But on a daily, consistent basis, my son was lacking discipline, structure, and guidelines.  James and I knew it was important for us as his parents to provide that.  So we were prompted to consider our options and I vacillated back and forth on whether or not to leave my job.  I consulted other stay-home moms and how they managed on one income, and they all said it was feasible.  You make lifestyle changes and make it work.

Well, God has a way of working and directing our paths when we come to difficult crossroads.  James and I knew it would be a big financial sacrifice for our family, but God revealed to us our idol of security and comfort.  He started chipping away at it and laying on our hearts the greater investments in this world than a nice home, fancy cars, or the latest doo-dads.  It really came down to evaluating our priorities and then putting our faith and trust in the Lord, His provision, and His guidance.

{ cj is less of a terror at the
playground.  here he plays with
a few friend. }

I've now gotten into a routine with the kids, and in one month, can already see the benefits.  My mom, my best friend, and even my mother-in-law have all noted a difference in CJ's behavior.  He didn't push as much or throw as many tantrums.  He still has his off-days (oh believe me, there are still many days I just want to yank out all my hair!), but it's been a gradual transformation.

It wasn't some magical formula on my part.  In fact, I credit it to a lot of prayer (from hubby, friends, family)!  It does also require constantly reinforcing what is right and what is wrong, teaching him to be kind and obedient, over and over again (sounding much like a broken record).  I also highly recommend the book, Don't Make Me Count to Three.  It's an easy read with great biblical and practical insights on how to rear children.

In only two months that I've been home, I can already see the impact and benefits it's had for my children and my family.  I won't say it's easy because it's not, but I am trusting the Lord for much guidance, patience, wisdom, and grace.

God is good, and He gives us what we need and so much more!

Personalized Prayer Prints

I so desire to be a woman of prayer (much like my grandmother) but have such a long way to go.

One day earlier this week as I sat and prayed for my boys, I was inspired to create something that would always remind me to be in prayer for them.   I hope this will be something Christian and Nathan carry with them each and every day of their lives.

{ prayers for my sons }

  

These are individual posters printed on 8.5 x 11 photo paper.  They were created in Photoshop but could just as easily be created in a Word document.  And it doesn't take much time to make!  I'll show the finished framed product in a future post.

I'd love to encourage you to make one for your children or anyone you may know!   

Flower Power

Here are some highlights from CJ's dohl.  Although we had many more guests at his party, it was much more lowkey than Nathan's in terms of preparation because we held it at a local park (CJ is a June baby so we took advantage of the nice weather).  We kept decorations very simple and had subs, gimbap (Korean california rolls), pasta and other simple picnic fare for lunch. 

{ sugar cookies made with lots of love }

The most work went into prepping the favors - homemade sugar cookies.  I thought these would make great centerpieces.  So I cut the cookies into flower shapes, stuck them on a lollipop stick, decorated each one, put them in a clear treat bag, tied a ribbon, and then placed a few in several pots (sticks were held secure by styrofoam).  Then guests took one home as a favor.

Decorating was easy.  All it required was some Betty Crocker cookie icing (in white and then you can add food coloring to make any color you want), candied sprinkles, and lots of love.

* * * * *

Here's the recipe I used (from AllRecipes.com):

SUGAR COOKIES

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 cup butter, softened
• 1 1/2 cups white sugar
• 1 egg
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). In a small bowl, stir together flour, baking soda, and baking powder. Set aside.
2. In a large bowl, cream together the butter and sugar until smooth. Beat in egg and vanilla. Gradually blend in the dry ingredients. Roll rounded teaspoonfuls of dough into balls, and place onto ungreased cookie sheets.
3. Bake 8 to 10 minutes in the preheated oven, or until golden. Let stand on cookie sheet two minutes before removing to cool on wire racks.

* * * * *

These were a hit. 

{ a very manly cake }

I also contemplated making the cake for CJ's birthday but decided it would be too much work in addition to the cookies.  So we ordered from a local bakery in Tenafly called Cafe Savoy.  We've had their cakes in the past, and they are delicious!  We flipped through their cake catalog and chose a large white cake with strawberries featuring a monkey.

We had no idea it would be pink!  [This is probably why I decided to make Nathan's cupcakes for his party.  :)]

But the birthday boy didn't care.  He was as happy as could be.


{ We had similar items out for CJ's dohljabi as we did Nathan's.  CJ chose the yarn (which represents long life) and then the stethoscope.  By the way, Nathan chose the stethoscope and then the Bible.  I'm not sure how I feel about both of them being in the medical field.   And the pic of CJ and daddy is my absolute favorite.  Melts my heart each time. }

Dohl Celebration!

{ traditional korean rice cake }

We celebrated Nathan's one-year birthday on September 26.  In Korean tradition, the one-year birthday (called "dohl") is a big celebratory event because long ago, many children didn't make it to their first birthday. 

It seems like the current trend is to throw incredibly elaborate dohls which could easily end up costing a couple grand (if not more).  I always thought this was absurd considering the baby wouldn't even remember the birthday!  But tradition is important and every birthday is worth celebrating, so we have been elaborate while trying to keep the costs affordable.  For each of my sons' dohl, we incorporated the traditional elements such as the hanbok (Korean outfit), duk (rice cake), dohljabi (selecting an item to foretell future), and colorful decorations.

Since we were working within a tight budget, we hosted a small, intimate party for Nathan at our home and invited family and our church growth group.  I also had to be creative but economical with the decorations.  I think the end results came out nicely.  So here are some ideas for those working on a budget.

Decoration, Food, and Favors

1)  Make your own decorations.  The "Happy Birthday" banner above the fireplace served as the main decoration.  I got the idea for the tissue fans from Martha Stewart and found them for a really great price at Devra Party (twelve 18" fans for $10).  Cutting the fans into various sizes and hanging them was probably the most time consuming part of decorating but so worth it.  I simply printed out the "Happy Birthday" letters on white cardstock paper, cut them out, and then taped them onto the fans.  The dohljabi items (bottom center) were gathered from around the house.

2)  When you're serving more than 15 guests, it's sometimes easier to order food than prepare it but you can do both.  Order a few main dishes (li.e. gimbap, fried shrimp, chicken wings, bulgogi) and make a few side dishes (i.e. pasta, salad, and noodles).  We also ordered the rice cake from a caterer in Palisade Park; they also supplied the plastic fruit display for free. 

3)  When it comes to favors, I've learned from past experience to keep it simple.  I found some simple and adorable mini pinball games at Michael's in their clearance section for $.49 each (top left) and decorated it with ribbon.    

4)  For additional personal touches, I printed out photos of the birthday boy and placed them in various places.  The train photo piece (upper righthand corner) came from Michael's as well.  You can purchase the wooden cd case, train decal, wheels, and frames separately.  The photo frames come painted, so I just had to handpaint the train and wheels with acrylic paint.  I then put in flower pots and inserted these colorful pinwheels from Pier 1 Imports (set of 16 for $2).  the cute 1st birthday photo frame (bottom left) was a gift from our cousins.  The white photo tree (bottom center) was also a fabulous Pier 1 Import find (in the clearance section for $7). 

 Dohljabi Game

5)  Keep the dohljabi game simple.  I've seen people spend lots of money to make posters for this game, but it's so simple to create your own.  I simply printed out photos of the different items and placed them on the kids' easel (courtesy of Ikea).  Then I glued the same photos on little brown bags from AC Moore ($1 each).  Guests wrote their names on little sheets of paper and dropped it into the bags.  Winner got a small gift card to Starbucks.

Hanbok & Cupcakes

6)  Rent or borrow a hanbok.  Here's our sweet birthday boy!  He was rather uncomfortable in the hanbok (traditional Korean attire) so it was hard to get a good photo of him.  We ordered the hanbok from ebay, but you might be able to rent one or borrow from family or friends.  

7)  Make your own cake or cupcake.  Despite being uncomfortable, he had a great time especially when it came time to eat cake!  Instead of purchasing a cake, I decided to bake simple vanilla and chocolate cupcakes instead.  These were super easy to make and piping the swirls on top was really simple.  Here's a great website for learning how to pipe swirls and great cake ideas in general.

Though we were able to save costs, it did take a lot of work and preparation on my part (lucky for me I had just quit my full-time job).  It was a splendid affair for our little guy and worth every effort.

Hard Work

My two-year-old likes to gloat about how much "hod wuk" he does at home (he helps tend the garden, mow the lawn, pull out weeds, etc.).  So Uncle Sun decided to take advantage and put CJ to good use in his own front yard.

[CJ found the straw hat in the garage and insisted on wearing it while he worked.]

{ how does this electrical wiring stuff work? }

{ i sure hope i don't get shocked. }

{ this is just so wrong.  aren't there child labor laws? }

*Disclaimer:  Just to be sure no one notifies the authority on us, CJ gladly volunteered his services.  And there was no electrical wiring involved.  Just a lantern you stake into the ground which he enjoyed using as a shovel.