My oldest son, my firstborn, the child who first made me a mom five years ago, went off to Kindergarten today. Truth be told, I didn't sleep a wink the night before. I was obviously much more nervous about it than he was! I'm so glad my anxiety didn't rub off on him. After praying in the car this morning and parting goodbye with a kiss and hug, he marched along and didn't even turn back.
He surprised me. I thought for sure, at the very least, he would tear up and quiver his lips. But no, he just went in and followed the teacher without even so much as a blink.
It's funny. I always thought I'd celebrate and dance in the streets the day I could send my children off to school full-time. But it's actually quite bittersweet. I want to do everything in my power to protect him, keep him safe, keep him from feeling sad, lonely, or alienated,and falling prey to peer pressure or bullying. But I realize I need to let go of my own fears instead of imposing them on him. God is watching over him. I know that. And I have to trust that every day.
I did miss him for those few hours. And I know my little guy missed him, too.
CJ is happiest when he's with his little brother.
And daddy was so proud this morning!
And so was Grandpa.
And we can't forget Grandma and even our dog, Jazz.
CJ, we are so incredibly proud of you on your first day of Kindergarten! You usually have such a hard time adjusting to new things. At the Kindergarten screening back in June, you cried and refused to participate. The guidance counselor, other teachers, and I had to calm you down and coax you in. What a difference this morning was from just a couple months ago! You were so brave and did such an amazing job! I was worried, because if you had a hard time, I knew I would, too. If you broke down in tears, so would I! But if you could be brave, then I could, too.
I praise God for giving you (and me) courage and peace today.
Love you, my big, brave boy!